Annoying Trends in the Restaurant Industry
There was an interesting article in the Zagat blog about what a number of national chefs consider to be extremely annoying trends in the restaurant industry. Well, this food critic is in almost complete agreement with most of the suggestions. I’ve also added a few of my own.
1. The Rise in Communal Tables. Boy does this one hit home. It’s quaint when you’re dining alone at a place like, say, Durgin-Park in Boston. I’ve actually had some fun experiences when dining solo at communal tables. But lately, this trend has proliferated to an out-of control level. Who the hell wants to be stuck with some annoying and anonymous table mates (when you’re out with a spouse, date or friends) just so a restaurant can maximize available space? In the majority of cases, this does not work out.
2. The “Revolutionary War Look.” This one makes me crazy. Lesson to restaurateurs who want to skimp on the furniture: the minimalist, antique scene flat out does not work. And for customers with larger behinds, it’s totally uncomfortable. People should be able to dine without having to sit on chairs that are so uncomfortable that they have to get up every fifteen minutes and vigorously massage their asses!
3. Chalkboard Menus. I’ve never cared for these very much. I like the one at Hoover’s Cooking because it’s neat and because I like Hoover so much. Beyond that, who needs ‘em. Give me a menu I can read without benefit of some wait person’s blooming chalk flowers atop “i’s” and “j’s”.
4. Bartenders with Mustaches. This really doesn’t bother me that much. I mean as long as the thing doesn’t need wax I’m OK with it. But can the suspenders and the attitude. Bartending is a time-honored tradition and those practicing the trade should have a little dignity and some respect for their craft.
5. Gourmet Punch. This has got Sex and the City I, II, and any sequels yet to come written all over it. Cocktails are fine: but do they have to be all tricked up just to impress female customers? I draw the line at a Cosmo. After that’s, it’s insulting to the distaff set.
6. Ice-less Table Water. I’m not sure where this got started but I wish it would end. I do not enjoy drinking room temperature tap water. Most people I know don’t either. My wife’s late acupuncturist once cautioned her not to add too much ice to her water. But my better half later came to her senses and now requires the requisite amount of cubes in her H2O. Restaurants take note!
7. Loud Rock Music. I had an experience at Mario Batali’s B&B Ristorante at the Venetian in Las Vegas that went something like this: we were trying to enjoy a conversation with our dining companions and we literally couldn’t hear each other over the din of Led Zeppelin (that’s right). I called over the manager and asked him to turn down the music. He immediately replied that he couldn’t. When I asked why, his response was that Mario likes loud music. I informed him that unless Mario was paying our tab, I really didn’t give a crap about the volume of music he preferred. Undeterred, the manager suggested that we could either eat on with the music as it was or leave. We left and went over to the Grand Lux Café where we could finish our conversation. This is the danger of what can happen when a chef becomes a bonafide celebrity.
8. Comfort Food Menus. I am a big fan of comfort food when dining out. But does every new restaurant have to be about comfort food? How about we let some of our exceptionally talented chefs go back to being masters of really fine dining. I don’t want to pay $19.99 for mac and cheese. No matter how you dress it up or how cleverly you market it, it’s still mac and cheese. I can only watch so much Guy Fieri and Paula Dean.
9. Sliders. It has become absolutely cool to put the word “slider” somewhere on your menu. Zagat males a funny observation that the word itself has been known to give woodies to middle-aged ex frat boys (I exempt myself from that description). But the observation is correct: everything can’t be a slider. I saw an Austin restaurant last week advertising “tilapia sliders.” Are you kidding me? Have we lost all sanity?
