Rob Survives Another Cool River Vodka Fest

When I first started drinking vodka back in college there were only a few brands that I remember: Gordon’s, Smirnoff, Absolut and Stolichnaya. Whether we actually consumed these brands or not is another matter: the recollections are understandably fuzzy, but those names at least come to mind from the primordial days. In truth, it probably didn’t matter. Most of the vodka we drank was poured into either Bloody Mary mix, grapefruit juice or this incomprehensible concoction we fondly dubbed “kickapoo joy juice.” (A staple of fraternity parties guaranteed to get girls hammered after two glasses.)

Of course times have changed. Marketing by giant corporations has driven our tastes in many new and different directions. French vodka Grey Goose has made billions appealing to women. Brands like Belvedere, Chopin (from Polish potatoes) and Ketel One from Holland have made huge strides. Likewise new brands like 42 Below from New Zealand and Hangar 1 from California have gained traction. Designer and flavored vodkas have emerged and boutique distilleries are popping up all over the place. Even in Austin we’ve seen former bartender Tito Beveridge’s Tito’s evolve into a national brand with Dripping Springs Vodka in the mix as well. And the vintners at Fall Creek have gotten into the act with Savvy Vodka. Another new Austin vodka called Famous has also entered the fray. Still another Austin vodka comes from the makers of our popular Sweet Tea and is called Deep Eddy Sweet Tea Vodka.

Celebrities have likewise made their contributions: Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head vodka is shaped in a skull-like bottle based on the famous Mitchell-Hedges crystal skull which was discovered in the Yucatan in the 1920’s. In new-age spirit, the vodka is triple filtered through pure diamonds. And even the inestimable Betheny from Bravo’s Housewives franchise has come up, appropriately, with a vodka called Skinny Girl.

So, in an a annual rite of passage fondly known as Cool River Café’s Vodka Fest, 30 vodkas from Austin and beyond are presented for your sipping pleasure. Yours truly is invited to pick two lucky attendees to join him in a epic feast at the restaurant. But I get to do a serious amount of sampling and sipping done along the way.

This year’s fest was as usual, a rather riotous affair that ramped up as the evening and amounts of vodka consumed progressed. As before, women outnumbered men at this event by roughly 4-1. Now vodka is defined by the U.S. government as being “without distinctive aroma, character, taste or color.” So one could advance the argument that the differences really lie in marketing. But try telling that to any of the enthusiasts at Vodka Fest.

A girl dressed in a skimpy black dress and wearing a blue wig came up to my table. “Have you tried our SKYY?” She then handed me a glass which I felt obliged to sample. “It has no carbs,” she said.
The skimpy black dress and the blue wigs are part of a hip, clever marketing plan by SKYY. I couldn’t muster up any real enthusiasm for what I tasted but I did not want to hurt her feelings. I gave her the thumbs up sign and a smile as she bounced off to the next table.

And it was pretty much that way the rest of the night for the unflavored vodkas. They all tasted like, well, vodka. As I looked around the various displays at Cool River, I began to wonder which ones, if any, would score better in a blind tasting. But most unflavored vodkas, unless of course you are Russian, are mixed with something. At that point, it really doesn’t matter.

All in all I probably would have cast my vote for good old Stoli! But I honestly couldn’t tell you if it was because I could actually discern a difference in its taste, or because years of marketing and habit had made their mark on me. Let’s say for the sake of argument that it was the taste. I’m sure that this would have made Rasputin very happy. And preferred brands or not, I didn’t see a single Vodka Fest attendee go home unhappy.

Equally happy was the lucky winner of a dinner for two at Cool River whose name I drew from several hundred entries. All in all, it was a fun night. Now if I could just find my own crystal skull…