The Top Five Ranking TV Spots for National Restaurant Chains

I just came across a press release discussing the relative popularity of some of the TV commercials rolled out this year by national restaurant chains. Are you ready for the Top 5?

A research firm called ACE Metrics has ranked the best of these spots and at the top is the Starbuck’s “Big Picture” campaign about how we all can save the world. Not a bad spot but hardly, in my opinion, deserving of #1. Starbuck’s could do a lot more good for the world if it lowered its absurdly priced specialty drinks. You know, like $5.99 for a Chocawokamochalatte. Give me a break. Yeah, and give up your pathetic entry into the world of selling CD’s.

Astonishingly, in 2nd place is the idiotic Domino’s campaign where people are asked to take a picture of the Domino’s pizza and send it in to the company. In one spot, the CEO looks at a picture of a box where most of the pie has landed on the top of the box instead of where it belonged on the bottom. “We just can’t allow this,” he says sternly. Are you friggin’ kidding me? Domino’s Pizza is flat out awful. Why would anyone in their right mind want to take a picture of it, let alone consume it!

Even more bizarre is that Domino’s also came in 3rd with their earlier campaign. They basically came out and agreed that their pizza sucked and that they were on a campaign to make it better. Now that’s inspiring. This is the zenith of advertising idiocy.

They claimed they were going back to basics? WHAT? What basics? They forgot those when they started rolling out that doughy, yucky crap they call pizza in the first place.

In 4th place was a Pizza Hut ad that originally aired during the Super Bowl. The idea was that you “don’t have to settle.” You can get this gigantic 2-foot long pizza with 18 slices for only $10. Wow, it makes my mouth water just contemplating such a purchase.

Actually Pizza Hut is one of the better chains but it was still an awfully silly ad.

Coming in 5th was Dairy Queen with a spot that celebrated the 25th anniversary of the Blizzard. And here I thought it has been around for at least 50 years! I’m really so glad to know that now. And they’re rolling out a Pecan Pie Blizzard to celebrate. Can you even fathom what that must taste like?

As some of you may know, I also have a considerable background in Market Research (that’s where the PhD comes from). I don’t know how this company put together their testing criteria and exactly what their methodology was, but if these five spots represent the best and most effective TV spots for the national chains, then God help all of us.