What I Expect from a Good Restaurant Server

I think that regardless of the pedigree of the establishment, every restaurant patron should be able to expect competent and efficient service from their waitperson.

Here are some things I always look for and upon which I tip accordingly:

1. Be polite and friendly.

That is not meant to read overly solicitous and or casually cool. I’ve been called “dude” by a few too many times by younger servers. I am not your dude. And I am not your friend. I am a customer and ours is a business transaction. If you know me, address me by my proper name. If you do not know me, Sir will be fine. And please, no monologues or comedy routines after we’ve gotten to know each other just a bit.

2. Know your menu.

One of the most frustrating things for a diner is a server who is unfamiliar with either the regular menu or the specials. Research shows that restaurant patrons, on average, spend less than two minutes looking at menus. They quite frequently rely on the server for recommendations. The server should have an almost encyclopedic knowledge of that menu. This builds confidence in the first time visitor to that restaurant.

I once asked for a recommendation at a local steakhouse and the server acknowledged that he was a vegetarian. Bad move. I repeat, regardless of your personal lifestyle, KNOW THE MENU. Also, higher up the food chain, know how to pronounce the names of all the dishes. At the opening of the toney Joe DiMaggio’s at the Domain, we had a waiter who mispronounced at least five or six dishes, including my pet peeve, BRUSCHETTA! Also, keep up with what the kitchen has run out of that evening. I hate when my server comes back to the table (after I’ve ordered) and says, “Sorry, we’re out of the English split pea soup.”

3. Understand how to read your customers.

This is a very important skill for a good server. If it’s a romantic two-top lingering over a bottle of Caymus, don’t approach every five seconds. If it’s a rollicking evening with a six-top of three couples, the rules change a bit. But a great server knows when to approach the table and when not to. Paul Duce, who used to be the preeminent waiter at Fleming’s, understood this beautifully. If you needed him, he was there in a flash. If you did not, he maintained his respectful distance.

4. The customer is right, really!

One thing that really annoys me is the server who is a wanna-be chef or sommelier. If the patron doesn’t like the dish, take it back and replace it with no questions asked. And do it quickly!

If the patron asks for a wine recommendation, then by all means make a suggestion or two. But if he/she asks for a bottle of ’03 Destino Cabernet and it appears that they are knowledgeable and comfortable in their selection, then don’t try to upsell them to a Silver Oak or Opus One.

Likewise, if the patron tells you the wine is corked, don’t cop an attitude and start rolling your eyes. Worse still, don’t smell or taste it in front of the patron and render judgment. Be gracious, take it back to the kitchen, and give it a sip. If it’s corked, you know what to do. If it’s not, assuming it’s not a bottle of Harlan Estates, the kitchen will have a good bottle to drink that evening. In truth, it’s just almost (note that I said almost) not worth arguing with the customer over it.

Now, if they’ve told you it’s corked because there’s a piece of cork floating in it (and that will happen occasionally) use the same drill. Then have the owner come back and politely explain to the patron how harmless that little piece of cork really is. That always beats embarrassing the patron.

And it will preserve your tip!

5. For God’s sake, bring the check already!

Nothing can spoil a great dinner faster than the server disappearing into the night without presenting the final check to his table. I have seen this repeatedly at Austin restaurants and there is absolutely no need for this whatsoever! Look at it this way: the party is done, they want to pay the tab (hopefully with a nice tip) and then the restaurant gets to turn the table and you get a crack at another nice tip!
Bring the check promptly! Please!